Wednesday, September 25, 2013

What is Marketing?

What is Marketing? 

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up and say: "I am very rich. Marry me! ". - That's Direct Marketing.

2. You are at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He is very rich. Marry him." - That's Advertising.

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say: "Hi, I am rich. Marry me! ". - That's Telemarketing.

4. You are at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car) for her, pick up her bag after she drops it offer her ride and then say: "By the way, I am rich. Will you marry me? ". - That's Public Relations.

5. You are at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says: "You are very rich! Can you marry me?" - That's Brand Recognition.

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up and say: "I am rich. Marry me! " She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. - That's Customer Feedback.

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up and say: "I am very rich. Marry me! " And she introduces you to her husband. - That's demand and supply gap.

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: "I am rich. Will you marry me?" And she goes with him. - That's competition eating into your market share.

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: "I am rich. Marry me! " your wife arrives. - That's restriction for entering new markets.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

What FYI & FYA Really Means - Updated

Updated Version. If you have additional ones, please post a comment so I may insert them.

Ever wondered what FYI & FYA really mean?This is what we always use in the office when we send emails and this is what it really mean at the back of our minds. It is so true for all of us in the working world. For the noobs joining the working world, take heed. You need to outwit, outsmart and outplay your corporate competitors.

1) For your information. (FYI)
- I don't know what to do with this, so please keep it.

2) For your action. (FYA)
- I don't know what to do with this, so I'm passing this shit to you.

3) Noted and returned.
- I don't know what to do with this, so please keep it for a little while.

4) Review and comment.
- Do the dirty work so that I can forward it and sign off with my name.

5) Action please.
- Get yourself involved. Don't worry, I'll claim the credit.

6) For your necessary action.
- It's your headache now. Woohoo!!!

7) CC to
- Here's a share of the headache.

8) BCC to
- I'm telling someone important that I'm working and sharing the headache with you.


9) For your approval, please.
- Put your neck on the chopping board for me please. :D


10) Action is being taken and will revert in due time.
- I lost your correspondence and still trying to locate it.
- I'm busy! Bother me next week!!!

11) Please discuss.
- I don't know what this is all about. So please brief me.

12) For your immediate action.
- Do it NOW! Or we'll all get into trouble!!!

13) Please reply soon.
- Please be efficient. It makes me look inefficient because of you!

14) I am investigating/ processing your request with the relevant departments.
- They are causing the delay, not me! (Eyes open really big with an innocent look)


15) Thanks & Regards.
- Thanks for reading all this bullshit.

16) For Your Eyes. (FYE)
- I really don't want to be the snitch so I am sending this to you so you can tell the whole damn world.

17) End of Business day. (EOB)
- I'm just making your life miserable and I'm going for a movie later.

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